Why Avoiding Your Feelings Feels Easier Than Facing Them

The tricky business of emotions

Have you ever found yourself scrolling endlessly, busying

yourself with chores or cracking jokes when someone asks how you really are, all while your feelings are hiding, you are not alone. Many people in the UK learn to avoid uncomfortable feelings rather than sit with them.

Avoidance is often our brain’s way of protecting us from emotional discomfort. When feelings show up quickly and strongly, they can feel threatening, messy or overwhelming so our instincts tell us to look away.

Why avoidance feels easier than feeling

1. It feels safer

From childhood we may learn that certain emotions are “bad” or should be pushed aside. When vulnerability feels unsafe, avoidance becomes a shortcut.

2. We never learned how

Most people aren’t taught how to recognise, name or process emotions. Without those skills, avoidance becomes the default response.

3. It creates an illusion of control

Diving into work, social media or even cleaning doesn’t feel like avoidance at the time, because it appears productive. But these behaviours can actually be hiding emotional distress.

4. Emotions are complex

Sadness, fear or anger can feel heavy or confusing. Our minds prefer easy, neat emotions, so we dodge the ones that feel hard.

What actually happens when we avoid feelings

Avoiding emotion may help in the moment, but emotions don’t disappear when ignored. They can grow louder under the surface, contributing to:

• Persistent anxiety or restlessness

• Emotional numbness or detachment

• Relationship difficulty

• Feeling stuck or unfulfilled

• Odd physical symptoms like headaches or tension

• Short‑term relief can turn into long‑term stress.

How to make sitting with feelings less scary

• Start small

You don’t need to dive into the deepest ocean of sadness at once. Notice small feelings first.

• Name what you’re feeling

Talking out loud or writing it down can help the brain make sense of emotion.

• Slow down

Pause before reacting, even for a few breaths. It breaks the “run away” instinct.

• Be curious, not critical

Ask “What is this feeling trying to tell me?” instead of “Why am I such a mess?”

When extra support is helpful

If emotions feel too heavy to explore alone, reaching out for support can make a real difference. Speaking to someone is a sign of strength and self‑care.

Key takeaways

• Emotional avoidance is common and hardwired into coping strategies.

• It may feel easier at first, but avoidance can make things heavier over time.

• Small steps toward feeling can lead to greater wellbeing.

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